I am currently drowning in debts due to bad business decisions and gambling, i don’t know if i will remain alive in the next 7 days. I am drowning and afraid for my life. Have a young wife who. Whether you cease gambling forever or for a specified time really depends on the circumstances of your loss. Gambling is a form of entertainment. It is entertainment that sometimes manages to pay for itself, but more often than not you are going to lose.

1. Feel Bad After Gambling Winnings
2. Feel Bad After Gambling Advice
3. Feel Bad After Gambling Addiction

Are you or a loved one dealing with a gambling problem? Explore the warning signs and symptoms and learn how to stop.

What is gambling addiction and problem gambling?

Gambling problems can happen to anyone from any walk of life. Your gambling goes from a fun, harmless diversion to an unhealthy obsession with serious consequences. Whether you bet on sports, scratch cards, roulette, poker, or slots—in a casino, at the track, or online—a gambling problem can strain your relationships, interfere with work, and lead to financial disaster. You may even do things you never thought you would, like running up huge debts or even stealing money to gamble.

Gambling addiction—also known as pathological gambling, compulsive gambling or gambling disorder—is an impulse-control disorder. If you’re a compulsive gambler, you can’t control the impulse to gamble, even when it has negative consequences for you or your loved ones. You’ll gamble whether you’re up or down, broke or flush, and you’ll keep gambling regardless of the consequences—even when you know that the odds are against you or you can’t afford to lose.

Of course, you can also have a gambling problem without being totally out of control. Problem gambling is any gambling behavior that disrupts your life. If you’re preoccupied with gambling, spending more and more time and money on it, chasing losses, or gambling despite serious consequences in your life, you have a gambling problem.

A gambling addiction or problem is often associated with other behavior or mood disorders. Many problem gamblers also suffer with substance abuse issues, unmanaged ADHD, stress, depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder. To overcome your gambling problems, you’ll also need to address these and any other underlying causes as well.

Although it may feel like you’re powerless to stop gambling, there are plenty of things you can do to overcome the problem, repair your relationships and finances, and finally regain control of your life.
The first step is to separate the myths from the facts about gambling problems:

Gambling addiction signs and symptoms

Gambling addiction is sometimes referred to as a “hidden illness” because there are no obvious physical signs or symptoms like there are in drug or alcohol addiction. Problem gamblers also typically deny or minimize the problem—even to themselves. However, you may have a gambling problem if you:

Feel the need to be secretive about your gambling. You might gamble in secret or lie about how much you gamble, feeling others won’t understand or that you will surprise them with a big win.

Have trouble controlling your gambling. Once you start gambling, can you walk away? Or are you compelled to gamble until you’ve spent your last dollar, upping your bets in a bid to win lost money back?

Gamble even when you don’t have the money. You may gamble until you’ve spent your last dollar, and then move on to money you don’t have—money to pay bills, credit cards, or things for your children. You may feel pushed to borrow, sell, or even steal things for gambling money.

Have family and friends worried about you. Denial keeps problem gambling going. If friends and family are worried, listen to them carefully. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Many older gamblers are reluctant to reach out to their adult children if they’ve gambled away their inheritance, but it’s never too late to make changes for the better.

Self-help for gambling problems

The biggest step to overcoming a gambling addiction is realizing that you have a problem. It takes tremendous strength and courage to own up to this, especially if you have lost a lot of money and strained or broken relationships along the way. Don’t despair, and don’t try to go it alone. Many others have been in your shoes and have been able to break the habit and rebuild their lives. You can, too.

Learn to relieve unpleasant feelings in healthier ways. Do you gamble when you’re lonely or bored? Or after a stressful day at work or following an argument with your spouse? Gambling may be a way to self-soothe unpleasant emotions, unwind, or socialize. But there are healthier and more effective ways of managing your moods and relieving boredom, such as exercising, spending time with friends who don’t gamble, taking up new hobbies, or practicing relaxation techniques.

Strengthen your support network. It’s tough to battle any addiction without support, so reach out to friends and family. If your support network is limited, there are ways to make new friends without relying on visiting casinos or gambling online. Try reaching out to colleagues at work, joining a sports team or book club, enrolling in an education class, or volunteering for a good cause.

Join a peer support group. Gamblers Anonymous, for example, is a 12-step recovery program patterned after Alcoholics Anonymous. A key part of the program is finding a sponsor, a former gambler who has experience remaining free from addiction and can provide you invaluable guidance and support.

Seek help for underlying mood disorders.Depression, stress, substance abuse, or anxiety can both trigger gambling problems and be made worse by compulsive gambling. Even when gambling is no longer a part of your life, these problems will still remain, so it’s important to address them.

How to stop gambling for good

For many problem gamblers, it’s not quitting gambling that’s the biggest challenge, but rather staying in recovery—making a permanent commitment to stay away from gambling. The Internet has made gambling far more accessible and, therefore, harder for recovering addicts to avoid relapse. Online casinos and bookmakers are open all day, every day for anyone with a smartphone or access to a computer. But maintaining recovery from gambling addiction or problem gambling is still possible if you surround yourself with people to whom you’re accountable, avoid tempting environments and websites, give up control of your finances (at least at first), and find healthier activities to replace gambling in your life.

Making healthier choices

One way to stop gambling is to remove the elements necessary for gambling to occur in your life and replace them with healthier choices. The four elements needed for gambling to continue are:

A decision: For gambling to happen, you need to make the decision to gamble. If you have an urge: stop what you are doing and call someone, think about the consequences to your actions, tell yourself to stop thinking about gambling, and find something else to do immediately.

Money: Gambling cannot occur without money. Get rid of your credit cards, let someone else be in charge of your money, have the bank make automatic payments for you, close online betting accounts, and keep only a limited amount of cash on you.

Time: Even online gambling cannot occur if you don’t have the time. Schedule enjoyable recreational time for yourself that has nothing to do with gambling. If you’re gambling on your smartphone, find other ways to fill the quiet moments during your day.

A game: Without a game or activity to bet on there is no opportunity to gamble. Don’t put yourself in tempting environments. Tell gambling establishments you frequent that you have a gambling problem and ask them to restrict you from entering. Remove gambling apps and block gambling sites on your smartphone and computer.

Finding alternatives to gambling

Maintaining recovery from gambling addiction depends a lot on finding alternative behaviors you can substitute for gambling. Some examples include:

Dealing with gambling cravings

Feeling the urge to gamble is normal, but as you build healthier choices and a strong support network, resisting cravings will become easier. When a gambling craving strikes:

Avoid isolation. Call a trusted family member, meet a friend for coffee, or go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting.

Postpone gambling. Tell yourself that you’ll wait 5 minutes, fifteen minutes, or an hour. As you wait, the urge to gamble may pass or become weak enough to resist.

Visualize what will happen if you give in to the urge to gamble. Think about how you’ll feel after all your money is gone and you’ve disappointed yourself and your family again.

Distract yourself with another activity, such as going to the gym, watching a movie, or practicing a relaxation exercise for gambling cravings.

Coping with lapses

If you aren’t able to resist the gambling craving, don’t be too hard on yourself or use it as an excuse to give up. Overcoming a gambling addiction is a tough process. You may slip from time to time; the important thing is to learn from your mistakes and continue working towards recovery.

Gambling addiction treatment

Overcoming a gambling problem is never easy and seeking professional treatment doesn’t mean that you’re weak in some way or can’t handle your problems. But it’s important to remember that every gambler is unique so you need a recovery program tailored specifically to your needs and situation. Talk to your doctor or mental health professional about different treatment options, including:

Inpatient or residential treatment and rehab programs. These are aimed at those with severe gambling addiction who are unable to avoid gambling without round-the-clock support.

Treatment for underlying conditions contributing to your compulsive gambling, including substance abuse or mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, OCD, or ADHD. This could include therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes. Problem gambling can sometimes be a symptom of bipolar disorder, so your doctor or therapist may need to rule this out before making a diagnosis.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy. CBT for gambling addiction focuses on changing unhealthy gambling behaviors and thoughts, such as rationalizations and false beliefs. It can also teach you how to fight gambling urges and solve financial, work, and relationship problems caused by problem gambling. Therapy can provide you with the tools for coping with your addiction that will last a lifetime.

Family therapy and marriage, career, and credit counseling. These can help you work through the specific issues that have been created by your problem gambling and lay the foundation for repairing your relationships and finances.

How to help someone stop gambling

If your loved one has a gambling problem, you likely have many conflicting emotions. You may have spent a lot of time and energy trying to keep your loved one from gambling or having to cover for them. At the same time, you might be furious at your loved one for gambling again and tired of trying to keep up the charade. Your loved one may have borrowed or even stolen money with no way to pay it back. They may have sold family possessions or run up huge debts on joint credit cards.

Feel Bad After Gambling Winnings

While compulsive and problem gamblers need the support of their family and friends to help them in their struggle to stop gambling, the decision to quit has to be theirs. As much as you may want to, and as hard as it is seeing the effects, you cannot make someone stop gambling. However, you can encourage them to seek help, support them in their efforts, protect yourself, and take any talk of suicide seriously.

Preventing suicide in problem gamblers

Feel Bad After Gambling Advice

When faced with the consequences of their actions, problem gamblers can suffer a crushing drop in self-esteem. This is one reason why there is a high rate of suicide among compulsive gamblers. If you suspect your loved one is feeling suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S. at 1-800-273-8255 or visit Befrienders Worldwide to find a suicide helpline in your country.

Four tips for family members:

Feel Bad After Gambling Addiction

1. Start by helping yourself. You have a right to protect yourself emotionally and financially. Don’t blame yourself for the gambler’s problems or let his or her addiction dominate your life. Ignoring your own needs can be a recipe for burnout.
2. Don’t go it alone. It can feel so overwhelming coping with a loved one’s gambling addiction that it may seem easier to rationalize their requests “this one last time.” Or you might feel ashamed, feeling like you are the only one who has problems like this. Reaching out for support will make you realize that many families have struggled with this problem.
3. Set boundaries in managing money. To ensure the gambler stays accountable and to prevent relapse, consider taking over the family finances. However, this does not mean you are responsible for micromanaging the problem gambler’s impulses to gamble. Your first responsibilities are to ensure that your own finances and credit are not at risk.
4. Consider how you will handle requests for money. Problem gamblers often become very good at asking for money, either directly or indirectly. They may use pleading, manipulation, or even threats to get it. It takes practice to ensure you are not enabling your loved one’s gambling addiction.

• This topic has 47 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 1 month ago by .

• Hello my name is ray, I’ve always been successful and level headed person… Ive been working as a junior doctor for the past three years and I am currently 27 years of age…. However I was introduced to gambling one year ago and in the past couple months I have lost my entire savings of $50000 on roulette… Both online and in actual casinos…. The problem is Noone knows about this not my parents not my pathner…. It all started with winning 2000 the first time I gambled… I began to gamble every month and began to loose 1000 every month…. I began to chase losses and over the past couple months have gambled it all out… I’m sick to my stomach and suicidal…. My job is a good one but very demanding… I seem like I can’t even function properly in my workplace because of this depression…. My other problem is what if I can’t stop gambling… I dnt even have anyone to tlk to personally because I’m so ashamed.. That savings was to invest in a new house.. Now I’m stuck

  <

  Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

  Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

  Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

  And on that note….

  I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

  Take care

  The Gambling Therapy Team

  
  PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
  privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
  

  Your predicament sounds not to dissimilar to my own. I gambled away my entire life savings I was banking on using for a house. I too haven’t been able to tell my family or my partner. Talking to people on here helps and I can happily say I’ve been gamble free for just over a year now. Something I can’t say I’ve been since I was about 13. All I can say is, listen to the advice of the people on here. Stay strong. You’re better than any addiction. Each passing day will make you more confidant you can beat this. Take care of yourself and your finances will do the same.

  Hi Ray,

  Sorry to hear about you losing all of your savings. Unfortunately this is the typical end result of a gambling addiction. We inevitably hig rock bottom before we can stop and actually think about the full extent of the financial, psychlogical, and physical damage we have done to ourselves. How much we’ve sacrificed our time and energy, destroying our relationships with our family, friends and partners. Underperforming at our jobs. The problem isn’t that you lose money, the problem is that you can’t stop gambling until it’s all gone.

  You need to accept these losses and realize that gambling is futile and will only get you deeper into the hole should you continue. The addiction does not discriminate. I was similar to you, a good education, a good job, healthy savings, a loving partner and even have a mortgage for an upper class apartment. I only gambled recreationally prior to my 3 months meltdown of online/casino blackjack, where I had losing swings of up to 40k in one night (and winning ones too, but these are just as bad as they reinforce your addicted brain that you can win back your losses). I was confident I would not become one of these “degenerates” that somehow my intelligence and good upbringing shielded me from being a big time gambling loser. I was wrong. A gambling addiction can affect anyone, and is so strong that any logic you have is thrown out the window when you play. You lose your sense of money, take irrational risks and compulsively chase losses with ZERO control when gambling. That’s what the addiction does. It will trick your into thinking you can control it, that you can play small or just walk away with a small loss. That you’re smarter than that. It’s all just your addiction convincing you its ok to gamble. Truth is, for people like us, we simply cannot gamble AT ALL. We cannot control ourselves. You need let go of your pride and accept that you are powerless to this addiction. You can beat it but it will be the toughest battle of your life and it WILL BE A LIFELONG BATTLE. You need all the help you can get. Tell a partner/friend/family member. Otherwise go to GA. Most importantly, self-exclude from ALL land and online casinos you have access to and install a gambling blocker asap. I assure you that the chances of you gambling again is VERY HIGH, especially in your current state. You are still in the denial stage. Exclusion is paramount at this point (and recommended permanently). You must actively take action to stop yourself from gambling. The urges will feel unstoppable. You may relapse but don’t let that phase you. Do whatever it takes to overcome this and you can reclaim your old life back. What we lose most from gambling is not the money itself but we lose our former selfs. We become something else which we are not proud of.

  You have not hit rock bottom yet. A long term gambler who struggled with addiction once told me: “just when you thought you couldn’t go any lower, a gambling addiction can bring you a new low that you didn’t even know could exist.” The next step is to take out loans and gamble that away. Then begging/borrowing/stealing money to fund your addiction. The pit really is bottomless. If you continue you will lose your family, friends, partner and job. Most importantly, you will lose your sanity and everything good about who you are. True rock bottom awaits should you keep chasing your losses. Stop now before it’s too late.

  I wish you the best in recovering from this.

  I have taken a loan out to clear a car finance on a better rate. Suddenly thought I was rich. Lost 3/4 of it in3 months – suicidal (considered) running away (considered). Best advice I have read on here is to take each day as it comes. You feel like this at this moment in time. You will be in work for over 40 years earning a staggering amount of money – I earn £26,000 per year after tax, pension etc. x that by 40 years and its more than 1 million – put that into context with what you’ve lost – money will come and go. make sure you have food, a home (you don’t have to own one) and you have a hobby that keeps you busy or that you enjoy – excercise based is the best. It feels horrific, trust me I know…I am 4 days into hitting rock bottom and I am £16,000 in debt from gambling – I am recently married and my partner knows nothing. What has made me realist that if I continue – I will lose it all and not the money but her, my family and everything. With every day that passes you’ll feel better. Come on here and post – I’ll help if you need to talk.
  Stay strong

  Hi Ray,

  Well hopefully you’ve learnt that quitting gambling isn’t as simple as “ok I promise I will stop now.” Yes at that moment you feel 100% confident that you’ll stop but we know time will always tell an entirely different story. It starts with boredom or a stressful event and your addiction will tell you it’s ok to just play a little bit “for fun” and even set a time/loss limit for your session. This is just the trap to get you started back on that rollercoaster that digs your hole just that little bit deeper each time you go for another ride. We all know this inside ourselves yet we trick ourselves into thinking we are in control every time. Ray, you MUST self-exclude (especially if you are not handing your finances to someone else for control). You are in a very dark place right now and I get it, it’s living hell down there. You’ll feel physically and emotionally sick from the big loss (huge losses over small times are very psychologically damaging) and you need to grieve this loss. Not just the loss of your savings but the loss of your former self that you are proud of.

  Time will make things easier but your primary concern should be preventing yourself from all triggers or ways to access gambling. Keep posting here and we’ll be here to support you along you way but ultimately this is a battle only you can win by your own efforts.

  Hey Ray sorry to hear about your relapse, but sadly to say, I am not surprised. Having gambled away so much in a short period of time and experiencing such a huge loss is immensely emotionally damaging. It essentially “rewires” your brain and you can never be the same person again after it. The good news is that you are still young (same age as me) and you have time to change for the better, to turn your life around.

  The hardest part about getting over gambling is the losses you’ve incurres. It’s extremely hard to let go of. I might say that without other supports in place, it is virtually inpossible to do alone. On top of extreme willpower and a WANT to actually stop gambling, you will need two things assist you:

  1) Blockers/self-exclusion: this is the most critical element – whichever online or offline casinos/bookies you use, self-exclude from all of them now. If you really want to quit you will do it. It you don’t, it means you’re not really ready to give it up and I can guarantee that you return to it (with whatever reason your addiction tricks you with) and your rock bottom will only become deeper. After countless relapses, full self-exclusion plus computer gambling blocking software got me clean for 6 months+.

  2) Now this one is optional but highly recommended. That is emotional support and honesty. Gambling thrives in the dark and keeping your secrets from your partner + family will only make you feel more alone, ashamed and guilty. These thoughts alone can sometimes drive you back to relapses. Disclosure not only ensures emotional support, but also gives you the opportunity to hand over your finances to someone you trust as a further preventative measure. If you really cannot bring yourself to do it, go to GA. Stay active on these forums and post often. Read other people’s diaries and tips. Know that you are not alone in your struggles. But let me tell you, given the extent of your gambling, full disclosure is HIGHLY recommended as it will inevitably come out in the fall out.

  Please be proactive about step 1 and seriously consider step 2. Not to sound harsh but if you do nothing except tell yourself you’ll stop, you will repeat the above cycle multiple times until breaking point, and everything in your life will crumble. Do not let this happen as you have many years ahead and a great career which will earn you way more than what you’ve lost recently in the long run.

  Hey Ray,

  Great to hear that you’ve self-excluded. That’s a great first step. Now one thing to keep in mind is that online gambling has SO many different options. If you even have an inkling that you might open up another account elsewhere, I highly recommend installing Gamblock of Betfilter (for less than $100 it probably saved me many thousands during those first few months after I installed it). I also encourage you to confide to a few people because let me tell you, those closest to you already know something isn’t quite right with you or that your behaviour is odd, they may be surprised as to the nature of what you’ve been doing but they won’t be surprised that you’re currently struggling mentally.

  As for the losses, I totally get it. It’s the hardest part about staying gambling free. I was actually going to touch on it in my previous post but I didn’t want to make it too long. The thought of the losses was also the main factor which caused many of my relapses. I know it sounds cliche but time will indeed help. The first few month or so is the absolute worst. You will constantly be beating yourself on it, self-hating, replaying those nightmarish nights over and over. Thinking about why I hadn’t have stopped there or why I was so stupid not to walk away when I was up at that time. It will tear you up inside. But over time, the thoughts will become less consistent. If you just think about your life and what you still have, your health, your family, your partner and your great job. It will help to ease the pain. Now even as you get better mentally, every now and that that figure of your loss will come back like a ton of bricks, you’ll sometimes wake up in the middle of night and think about it. You’ll have moments at work where you just cannot function. It’s times like these that you need to stay strong. Trust me, the longer you can withhold yourself from gambling, the more positive things you can do in your life, the easier it will get.

  Try to think of the loss as a business venture that didn’t work out. Alternatively, think of it as a life lesson to NEVER EVER touch gambling again, ever in your life. For us compulsive gamblers, that demon was always inside of us and it just needed for us to get the right exposure or to be in the right circumstances for it come out and take control of us. Learning it at a young age (and if you actually learn to fight it and to control your triggers) can be a seen as a lesson learnt that will prevent you from ruining your life at a worst time – what about when you’re married and have kids of your own? What about when your 30-40 and earning big $$$? You will have A LOT more to lose then. Money comes and goes, yes 50k is a very large sum of money, but consider this – during your life time you will earn well over $1 million dollars. As a doctor if you progress well in your career you will earn well over $2 million dollars in your life time. I know it’s not easy to think long term but dwelling on losses will simply drag you back to more relapses, and take you into a darker and darker place. The light is dim now, but if you can stop now, you can turn it around. The money is gone and it’s not coming back (through gambling). The addiction is the one that’s telling you to keep trying. I know, we gamblers don’t want to give up, we want to recoup our losses now. Well the reality is that’s not going to happen. Science has found that once we ACCEPT our reality, no matter how dire, we can deal with it mentally much better. So you must accept your losses and move on. There’s no easy way around it. I wish you the best of luck.

  I know exactly how you feel about the monetary loss, Ray . They say money is not the issue but it sure was/is for me. I found it very difficult to stop chasing and let go. It will come eventually. I think we need to mourn every loss we experience in life. There is a grieving process to go through. The loss of money symbolizes all the other losses a gambler experiences. This is the tangible one, so it hurts a lot. Give yourself time, Ray. Time without gambling. Time to put things in order. Gambling will increase the chaos. The more we try to undo the damage, the greater the torture. It’s a form of self destruction. Be kind to yourself. Deep breaths! The hurt will pass. Everything passes and life goes on.
  Best wishes in recovery. Gambling ruins lives.

  Vera is correct, we need to grieve the loss in order to accept it. Losses incurred from gambling is extra hard to get over because it makes us feel so stupid, ashamed and guilty to have lost our money like this. Society also looks down on gamblers and even relatives find it hard to fathom why an otherwise intelligent person would do such a thing.

  Ray you could get over your 15k loss because you HAD TO accept it. Insurance wasn’t going to pay you and you were never gonna be able to catch the person who stole your vehicle. The difference now is you still think that gambling can get your money back. The dream will win it all back, to get our “revenge” against gambling, to strip away all of our monetary/mental worries with that one big comeback. Unfortunately this is not how real life works. Even if you do win it back you’ll just give it all back and more. The only way to win is to not play.